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Here's an actual report from a recent coaching session
You demonstrated strong reflective listening and paraphrase skills throughout the conversation, often summarizing the client's emotional state and choices (for example, you observed that she had "expressed herself to the fullest extent" and that she was ready to move on). You occasionally missed opportunities to name or explore sharper emotions earlier in the call, which would have deepened the client's awareness and release of tension.
You asked several useful clarifying and framing questions that prompted reflection, such as exploring 'selfish' vs 'self-focused' and inviting the visualization. However, many questions were advisory or leading and did not consistently probe underlying assumptions or identity drivers (you asked what would get her to CEO but did not interrogate the assumption that a specific title is the only path).
You offered constructive challenge by reframing selfishness as self-focused and by pushing the client toward internal work, which stretched her perspective. You could have pushed further by challenging limiting assumptions (for instance, the belief that internal politics makes the place irreparably broken) and by eliciting concrete commitments for change.
You created a safe, confidential container (assured the client that the conversation 'goes nowhere') and used silence and a guided visualization effectively to slow the session and invite deeper reflection. Your calm, steady presence allowed the client to disclose candid frustrations and consider new frames without feeling judged.
You facilitated meaningful insight by connecting the client's 'North Star' work to her current predicament, ulitmately resulting in her realization: 'Channel my energy into the effort, not the expectation.' You fell short of converting those insights into specific experiments or hypothesis testing that would produce measurable next steps and learning.
Moment: "I've asked for it. He said yes, but then reneged."
Missed Opportunity: This was a precise moment to explore the client's relationship to acceptance and the gap between offer and satisfaction. You could have used a values-oriented probe to uncover whether an offered title satisfies her need for recognition or if other signals matter more, and to surface what acceptance would feel like internally versus externally.
Alternative: "What would have to change about that offered title for you to truly feel recognized, and how would you know inside your body that recognition had arrived?"
Moment: "I feel like I deserve a promotion for everything I've done so far."
Missed Opportunity: This strong statement carries affect, entitlement, and potential resentment; it was an opening to explore identity and legacy. You could have invited her to name the specific achievements that justify the claim and to contrast external metrics versus her internal sense of readiness for the next role.
Alternative: "If you list the three most important results that make you promotable, how do those map to what the organization values and what would you need to change to close any gaps?"
Moment: "I'm not emotionally wedded anymore to this place."
Missed Opportunity: This is an identity pivot that signals increased agency, yet you largely validated it instead of mining its implications. You could have used a future-self technique to test whether this detachment is a temporary coping stance or a durable shift, and to explore the costs and gains of full disengagement.
Alternative: "Imagine it's a year from now and you've chosen to stay; what would have to be true for you to feel glad you stayed, and what would have to be true for you to feel glad you left?"
Moment: "Channel my energy into the effort, not the expectation."
Missed Opportunity: This crystallized insight after the visualization was fertile ground for action design, yet you did not convert it into specific experiments or success metrics. You could have leveraged that sentence to co-create small, measurable behaviors that embody both 'effort' and 'expectation' so the client can learn from outcomes.
Alternative: "What are three concrete behaviors you will try in the next four weeks that embody 'channeling energy into the effort'?"